Self-Worth, and All That Comes With It

My last post was really focused on me, and coming forward about my lifestyle. So I thought a second post, in the span of a week, was acceptable. So today, I'd like to focus again on self-worth.

Based on the work of Claudia A. Howard (1992), there are Five laws that describe human worth:

1. All have infinite, internal, eternal and unconditional worth as people

2. All have equal worth as people. It is not comparative or competitive.

3. Externals neither add nor diminish worth. This includes things like money, looks, and achievements. These things only really increase our market or social value.

4. Worth is stable and never in jeopardy (even if someone rejects you)

5. Worth doesn't have to be earned or proved. It already exists, we just need to accept, recognize and appreciate it.

(Source: The Self-Esteem Workbook 2nd Edition, Glenn R. Schiraldi. Pg 33)

Our self-worth stems from our personal belief's about our own value and worth; it is not dependent on that of others, or others opinions, which is hard to accept. Sometimes we think value comes from the worth others place on our shoulders, not the one that we place on our own. And, per my last post, I'm sure you have picked up that this is something I am working on acknowledging and accepting for myself.

It's hard changing your way of thinking, when you once were so co-dependent on others to assign a value or worth to yourself. Trust me, I know. But once you have realized that your worth and value is all up to yourself, the world starts looking a little less grey and a little more vibrant. You start becoming more of your true self and who you want to be, and less of what others expect and push you to become. And this, dear reader, is a heavenly feeling of self acceptance and self worth.

But how can we become more of our true selves when the world around us, the people we are surrounded by, continuously hammer down on you their own expectations of who you should be and how you should be living? How can you pick out the needle of who you truly are among a very large haystack of other peoples opinions and beliefs? I'm learning to do this, slowly but surely, so here are a few mantra's that have helped remind myself of my core value, that might help you as well as you learn to find who you truly are. Because, no one can tell you how to find who you truly are, since they'd pretty much be telling you who to be...

~"I am more than enough; Nothing less than valuable". This is one I have written on my bathroom window, to remind myself every morning how valuable I am, and that I am enough.

~"My heart is made of gold, and I am indestructible". This is a rendition of my tattoo that I talked about last post, and it's something that I am working on accepting. Although my body isn't exactly indestructible, my heart is because I can choose whether to let peoples negativity affect me or not. People don't make me feel bad, I choose to let myself feel bad by their words and actions; I can choose not to.

~"When the world around me turns Dark, tap into the Light" I actually took this one from a book I am reading called Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile. Whether you believe in magic, the art of crystal healing, rituals, etc. or not, I suggest reading this book; especially if you are on the self care journey that I am on. I really found a lot of light in this book, and the title fits perfectly. It really is about finding the light in the dark times that might fall upon us.

I hope these mantras are something that can help you as much as they have helped me! Always remember that your self worth isn't dependent on the opinions of others, but only the opinion of yourself. Let a little light into your life, especially during those dark times.

Happy Holidays!

Mell W.